DIARY: On Becoming Strong

There are certain things that have happened in your life that serve as constant reminders of where God has delivered you from.

When I'm Weak, You Make Me Strong

Hot tears splashed down my cheeks as I had been listening to T. D Jakes' sermon when I heard a word God used to answer a question in my heart. In that moment, God's intentions leaped off of the screen and started a revolution in my heart.

I wept and wept.

I never would have guessed how highly God thinks of me. I never would understand how invaluable I am to his kingdom. I felt a strange combination of exhilaration and anxiety about what it would mean to be called a strong woman.

This truth caused me hours and hours of tears. This truth tore me apart inside, ripping at the falsehood I had worn and adorned, shredding my self-made safety nets, and leaving me very broken and helpless.

I gasped for breath as I come face to face with what's real.

What is real is that I need Him.

Without Jesus, I will face the wrath of a Just God who cannot tolerate sin.

I needed help desperately.

And there is a God who says that in Him I can be strong.

Related: God Gave Me A Hug

Without Jesus, I am nothing. Nothing at all.

And without this great struggle that leaves me gasping for breath, I would have completely missed Him. Instead, I would have clung to the image I had created and never been forced to look at Him as He truly is.

I serve a God who is greater than my struggles,
but I would not have known this if I had not stumbled through them.

I serve a God who brings victory to the darkest of defeats,
but I would not have known this if I didn’t crawl through darkness.

I serve a God who miraculously breathes new life into the ugly and broken,
but I would not have known this if I never looked honestly at my own weakenesses.

And most of all, I serve a God who “investigates my life, finds out everything about me; cross-examines me and tests me, to get a clear picture of what I’m about. . . then guide me on the road to eternal life." (Psalm 139:23-24, MSG)

And I am very, very thankful.

I am thankful because there is a much deeper truth about this experience.

Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 

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Heart Rays . . . giving light.