When My Uncle Died, I didn't Shed A Tear

I can't hold back the tears. It is not fair that your life had to end. I'll always keep you in my heart. Rest in peace, my friend.

Rest in Peace, Gloria Okaiman

Sweet Glo, I got to hear about your demise today. And I still can't believe it.

I sent you a mail earlier this year just to know how you are doing, you didn't respond. I tried to reach you on the phone, but the line was switched off. I didn't think much of it. But you've always been dear to my heart.

Sweet Glo, we never met. As in, I never saw you physically. I never took a selfie with you. I never gave you a hug. I never touched your hand. But we met. Our hearts met.

My eyes are wet with tears. I can't explain the pain I feel. I can't explain why my chest hurts. I can't explain why I feel such pain when Glowyshoes and BMFblog told me you died of breast cancer. Like how? I mean, why???

Why, Oh death, why???

Some deaths make me pray harder. Some deaths remind me that I would die someday too. Some deaths don't make any difference to me. But yours? Yours make me question the essence of living.

One of your most beautiful comments on my blog

Sweet Glo, we met on the blogosphere. We did! The name of your blog was Trend With Gloria. You inspired me and as many that were privileged to visit your blog those times — Especially between 2015 and 2016. You taught us to live life to the fullest. You showed us that no matter how hard life can be, we must learn from it and embrace every moment of it. You told us to make our own trends and be the best brands of ourselves. You taught us to fight for what we deserve. You taught us to trust God no matter what!

I will miss you, Sweet Glo.
Oh, I will miss you.

I just asked your namesake, Gloria of Glowyshoes why I am crying as though we have been friends for a very loooong time. I asked because it's not every death that makes me cry. I didn't even shed a tear when my Dad's only brother, Uncle Chinyere died. But here I am, with tears, typing about how I feel about your death.

It hurts!

Sweet Glo, I sent you a mail last Monday with the subject "I Want To See Your Face". It was an invitation to my book launch. I told you I'd like to see your face at the event. I didn't know you were already gone. Oh, I didn't know!

*tears*

I must thank you my dear Sweet Gloria, for having such an impact on my life, and making it rich with love, friendship and the mystery I needed so much. You always said that only the sky's the limit, so I choose to believe that you just went to research it before me. Have a great journey up there sweetheart, I'm sure we'll meet again. I'm sure I'll eventually see your lovely face. I'm sure I will give you that tight hug we talked about. I'm sure you are in a better place now. I love you, Sweet Glo!

And I will remember you.

Some Heart Felt Comments You Posted on Heart Rays:

"LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am."

— Psalm 39:4

P.s My uncle and I didn't share a bond. He was always far away from the family. Eventhough my dad told me he had a brother, I didn't grow up knowing Uncle Chinyere as an uncle. We had no memorable moment.

What is it about losing a virtual friend that is particularly painful? Why are there so few articles? Why aren’t more people talking about it??

Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 

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Heart Rays . . . giving light.