RELATIONSHIP: How Do You Know a Christian Brother is Serious About You?

Lol. Let me be very honest. There is no way to know these days; you literally need God. That was my immediate response to a mentee who asked how to know if a Christian brother is serious about her. As I thought about it a bit more, I realized that writing this article could help many more who are navigating the complexities of Christian relationships. 

I live for this kind of conversation. I mean, I wrote a whole book on how I got into some of these situations too. 

Is He Serious About You?

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The struggle is reealllll. It’s tough out here. Figuring out if a Christian brother is genuinely serious about you can feel like navigating a maze. In a world filled with imposters, charmers, and those who are just passing time, how can you tell who’s serious about walking this journey of life with you?

First of all, I want to say congratulations on reaching this point where you start to consider whether this brother is really worth staying with. You are very blessed and mature enough to recognize that this is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in life. 

Now, let’s get to how you can discern if a Christian brother is genuinely serious about you:

1. He Prioritizes Prayer and Spiritual Growth

A serious Christian brother will consistently prioritize prayer, not just for himself but for the relationship. If he regularly seeks God’s guidance for both his life and your relationship, it’s a strong indication of his commitment. His desire for spiritual growth will reflect in how he supports and encourages you on your journey too. Regular prayer together and spiritual discussions reflect his commitment to building a faith-based relationship.

You should also pray harder on your own; ask God to reveal his true intentions. Seek confirmation from Him. Remember, the Holy Spirit can give you insights that are beyond what the eyes can see and the heart can feel.

2. He Values Your Principles and Boundaries

He is NOT after sex. Yes, let me put it out plainly. The one who is serious respects your body, boundaries and values. He will be attentive to your convictions and will seek to align his actions with your shared beliefs. His respect for your values will be evident in how he interacts with you.

Watch his actions, not just his words. Consistency is key. A serious Christian brother doesn’t just talk the talk—he walks the walk. If his values are more about personal pleasure or worldly pursuits while yours are about serving God, you’re bound to clash. Be with someone who values his relationship with God even more than you do. 

RELATED: When He Says “Be Patient With Me”

3. He is Interested in Your Well-being

“Have you eaten?” is actually a valid question from a Christian brother who is serious about you. Beyond the surface, he will be deeply concerned about your well-being. He cares about your interests and safety in your daily life and is willing to contribute. He will communicate frequently and openly with you. He would also ask insightful questions that show genuine interest in your life.

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4. He Displays Commitment Through Actions

Words are important, but actions speak louder. A serious Christian brother will show his commitment through consistent actions that reflect his intentions. Whether it's making time for you, supporting your goals, or actively working to build a future together, his actions will align with his words.

5. He Discusses the Future

A key indicator of seriousness is his willingness to discuss the future. Does he discuss long-term plans and aspirations that involve you? A serious Christian brother will have a vision that aligns with God’s purpose, and he’ll want you to be part of that vision.

He will engage in conversations about long-term plans, including marriage, family, and how you both envision your lives together. He will not ghost you. His openness to these discussions signifies a genuine interest in building a lasting relationship.

6. He Introduces You to His People

A Christian brother who is serious about you will want you to be a part of his life beyond just the two of you. Is he intentional about integrating you into his life by introducing you to his friends, family, mentors, pastors or church leaders? Involving others in your relationship can be a sign of seriousness. If he seeks guidance from mentors, pastors, or trusted friends, it indicates that he wants to ensure that the relationship is built on a strong foundation.

Sis, you literally need divine guidance because the line between genuine interest and pretense can be blurry.

It’s easy to get swept away by charm, attraction, or the desire to settle down, but take a moment to scrutinize him as a man. Does he have sense wisdom? Does he act with integrity? And most importantly, does he live out his faith authentically? Remove the blinders of “Christian brother” and assess if he truly embodies Christ-like qualities.

RELATED: How To Deal With Having So Many Suitors

Don’t rush. Don’t be so desperate. Take the time to observe his character over different seasons. People can put on a good show, but time has a way of revealing true intentions. Let God guide you, and be patient enough to wait for His perfection.

Stay true to your convictions, be discerning, and keep your standards rooted in God’s Word. You deserve a partner who’s serious not just about you, but also about journeying with you towards God’s purpose.

Cheers to trusting God’s plan!

Stay positive.

Stay inspired.

Stay be-you-tiful.

Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi

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Heart Rays . . . giving light.