Dear Diary, It Almost Gave Me A Heart Attack

Sometimes you have got to vent out. It helps you stay connected with your emotions while expressing yourself. Do you vent? I do it in my diary. 

Close To A Heart Attack

It was on Wednesday.

The day I blogged about my ex.

I had a swell time while writing that article. My heart leapt for joy when I finished writing everything I wanted to write. And clicking the "publish" button made me tingle all over. The best part was when Disqus notified me that the post had gotten 2 comments.

You have no idea how a blogger feels when she gets 1 comment on her post. It is such a sweet thing. It means a lot to us!

I was happy.

I was happy Linda and Henry could relate to my story. And I smiled as I responded to their comments. 

Then I switched off my data. (Because of the exercise I'm undergoing at the moment, I needed to switch off my data between 9am and 9pm to avoid being too distracted).

I was having a good time until I started thinking about my ex. Not exactly about him. But about how he'd feel after reading what I'd written.

My thoughts went like:

"What if he leaves a comment on that post?"
"It will be nice if he does"
"What if he says something vicious"
"No, he wouldn't. He is better than that"
"That's true oh. I should check my blog and see what's going on right now"
"No. No. I shouldn't be online till 9"
"Hmm . . . 9pm is not far from now. Lemme wait till then"

I couldn't wait till 9 PM. But I did anyway. Spiritual things above everything else. You know? 

At 9:04PM, I was more than eager to visit my blog. And when I typed in "www.amakamedia.com" on the url search box, I saw this.

"The server at www.amakamedia.com can't be found?"

I gasped.

I typed it in again.

Same story.

My heart was beating faster now.

I tried and tried again, all to no avail. I used different browsers, no way. My Whatsap and BBM were connected but my blog wasn't. I couldn't understand what was going on.

I became afraid.

Then the fear slowly turned into an anger . . . a sobering anger, maybe. 

Many thoughts ran through my beautiful mind.

Dear Diary, I wouldn't want to spill all the thoughts I had in my head at that time. Mehn, they were dreadful. 

Like,

1. I thought my blog had been deleted by Google. (God forbid!)
2. I thought my ex had done something - to hurt me for talking about him. (Lol!)

A little guilt crept in too. 

I couldn't sleep that night. I kept trying to access my blog till daybreak. 

* * * 

This Verse Stood Out For Me During Our Morning Devotion:

"This, now, is what the sovereign LORD says: "I am placing in Zion a foundation that is firm and strong. In it I am putting a solid cornerstone on which are written the words, 'Faith that is firm is also patient.'

~ Isaiah 28:16, GNT

There goes that word again - PATIENT. God always drill that word into my heart every now and then.

* * *

It wasn't until I put a call through to a customer care agent that I realized I couldn't access my blog because my network provider was resolving a general issue. *phew*

Related posts:

• Dear Diary, Nothing Is Working
• Dear Diary, Last Weekend Was Fantastic
• Dear Diary, This Holiday Is Making Sense
• He called My Mum His Mother-in-Law

Have you got anything to vent about?

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Email -  amakamedia@yahoo.com
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Heart Rays . . .giving out  the light.