Is This Journey Not Getting Too Long?

29.2.16

Is This Journey Not Getting Too Long?

Am I the only one who wonders what was running through the mind of Joseph when he was in the pit? Lol. I dunno but he would have probably felt something close to this . . .

When Life Isn't Going As Planned & We Are Almost Losing Sight Of Our Dreams

For those who'd been following my blog as at the latter part of last year, you'd have known that the Word that keeps ringing in my heart is: Be still and know (Psalm 40: 10).

Sometimes I feel like the journey that God has me on is very similar to that of Joseph, but parallel to that of Israel’s journey through the wilderness. I sit back and I say to myself, “I wish I had a pillar to follow in the day and a cloud to follow at night, because that would be so much easier than just sitting here and waiting.”

If you don’t know Amaka, she is not exactly a patient person, so this waiting thing is pretty tough.

It's not an easy something-something.

I am being forced to learn the journey of faith through patience. Like it'd been stated here, yours truly need a large dose of it. But then again, I get to that point when I say:

"Lord, is this journey not getting too long?!"

You know, when life isn’t going how we’d like, or how we'd planned, it’s easier to lose focus. It's easier to stop believing. It's easier to try and take the wheel from God, to boss Him around, or even try and force Him to do things our way.

That will be a terrible thing to do. I know right.

But, it is getting tougher. And the journey seems to be longer.

I’ve lost sleep over this. Shed a few tears. I am not a pro on “let go” or "release" (my One Word for the New Year is “glory,” but God gave me a second word that won’t go away. . . "outpouring!"). Let go and let it flow freely? No, I pretty much hold on for dear life. I’m very comfortable with what is and this uncertainty is making me nervous.

So what does a dreaming girl do when situations threaten to sink her dreams? What do I do when my faith seems to be shaken?

I got down on the floor and laid, face down, my diary and a pen beside me, and cried out desperately to God.

All I did was cry. At that point, there were no words to express how I feel. My heart was heavy. I could not even sing.

I'd like to think my tears meant:

"Lord, he. . . lp me"
"He. . . lp me"
"Please. . ."
"let me know You're still there . . ."
"Please tell me that You're not finished with me yet. . . "
"Strengthen my faith . . . "
"Give me a word. . . "
"Give me a glimpse of Your glory. . ."

Then I bursted out in tongues.

For a few minutes I just lay there. I didn’t feel any better kind of. I tried hard to be quiet within me. To stop wrestling and questioning and pleading. My soul deeply needed a Word. I breathed in. I invited Him in.

“God you know where I am. I am here. Please say something . . . anything!”

I didn’t hear much. No booming voice whatsoever. But a few thoughts edged into my heart that I believed could be from God. They were positive thoughts. Reassuring thoughts. So I wrote them down in my beautiful diary,

“I will never leave you nor forsake you."

And then I got up feeling a bit calmer and got ready to write an article. I grabbed my phone and as I looked on the screen, I felt His arms around me. He gave me the assurance that He is with me. He sees me. He knows me. He loves me. He hears the cries of my heart. He is here. He is holding me in His arms.

Interesting, huh?

Yeah. It's very beautiful to have this encounter with God. But it's not over. That doesn't mean I will never get to the point of tears again. I sure will.

So I'm writing this for the future as well as for you, my sweetheart.

God has not forgotten you one bit. He is still with you on this journey. He is carrying you. He is showing you the beautiful things on your way up there. Open your heart to experience the thrills of this journey. Don't miss a thing.

Let go of the steering wheel and let God do the driving for you.

Let go of the wheel, sweetie.

Let go.

It can be hard, especially when life is tough and you’re not sure where the road may lead. But, moment by moment, if you choose to trust Him; if you let go, you’ll find peace and love filling you up like never before.

If you let go, you’ll stay out of all the emotional and spiritual stress and burnouts.

If you let go of the steering wheel, you’ll get to sit in the passenger’s seat and enjoy the ride! Then you will not worry about the journey being long or short.

So, that's exactly what I have decided to do . . . to enjoy the ride with God . . . to grab a drink . . . and munch on some healthy snacks alongside. :)

My faith level is on a high right now. The journey has never been more exciting.

P.S February ends today. And The RCCG 50-day fast ends too. Praise God! *screams* Who did this? Jesus . . . on my God! Aww! Thank God for grace and strength throughout the fasting. I'm so excited about the future!

P.S.S I guess I should be getting into this Instagram thing a lot now. I posted a mini video on believing.

I made this declaration in the dark of the night . . . shortly after receiving a Word. YES, LORD! I BELIEVE! #ibelieve #inspirationalvideo #declaration #midnightthings #dreams #yeslord

A video posted by Nwamaka Ajaegbu (@amakamedia) on Feb 24, 2016 at 5:57pm PST