Dear Diary, I've Got My Mind Made Up

The 30-Day Man Fast is a period where a woman stays away from men to focus on Jesus.

Sharing bits from my private diary . . .

I choose Jesus

My prayer during this fast has been for God to fix me me, fill me, change me so I don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made in my past relationships.

I was sowing time and energy into relationships that just weren’t working. I had become so frustrated. I was ready to just be single and satisfied with Jesus only. 

But of course, God desires that I get married with the right frame of mind and wholeness of spirit. 

However. . . I have to decide.

I have to decide on what exactly I want. I have to decide on the change I desire to have. I have to decide on whether to trust God or keep doing it my way.

Two days ago, I felt starved of men. I felt starved because I have had no calls or text from no man (non platonic relationships). I panicked. I didn't realize I was somewhat addicted to talking and chatting with men.

Ding dong! It was a point of self-realization. The issue wasn't just the interaction with men, it was a matter of self identity and awareness.

So I told God to fix me. I believe He did.

Today, I was faced with temptations. Two of them suddenly wanted to hook up with me. They called. I became afraid. 

The temptation was so real.

"You can't keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result."

I knew I had to choose. It was about time I made up my mind. 

My phone kept ringing. I wanted to switch it off, but something held me back. Switching it off would mean running away from the battle.

I didn't have to run. I had to fight!

As he kept calling, I sang Donnie Mcclurkin's Caribbean Medley:

I've got my mind made up and I won't turn back
Because I want to see my Jesus someday
I've got my mind made up and I won't turn back
Because I want to see my Jesus someday

Goodbye world, I stay no longer with you
Goodbye pleasures of sin, I stay no longer with you
I've made up my mind to go God's way the rest of my life
I've made up my mind to go God's way the rest of my life

Born, born, born again Thank God, I'm born again
Born, born, born again Thank God, I'm born again
Born of the water, spirit and the blood
Thank God, I'm born again
Born of the water, spirit and the blood
Thank God, I'm born again

"It is over. Stop disturbing me!"

I told the devil "you have failed this time!" No man is worth giving up God's glory in my life. I know staying away from men for 30 days is a cross I have to bear. So I am staying focused on seeing a change in my life!

***********

Related Posts: 

• Are You Trusting?
• The Love That Satifies
• He Hugged Me
• Devil, Leave Me Alone! 

Some things aren’t just worth the energy we exert. Let's take a break. Let's break away to get our breakthroughs.

"Lay aside every encumbrance and sin which do easily entangles us, and let's run with endurance the race that's set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus."

30 days isn’t enough time to make all the changes I want to see in my life but it was a great start. Some days were painful. Some days were relaxing. Some days were challenging. But it was worth it!

I hope my diary entries about this fast have blessed you in some way. Thanks for reading. That's all the update I am led to share with you.

I smell a fabulous Christmas coming . . . 

Have you made up your mind on getting different results? How are you doing it? 

Written by Nwamaka Ajaegbu 

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Heart Rays . . .giving out  the light.