Life has changed. Significantly changed. I wanted to settle into newlywed life and find a balance between enjoying every minute with Kachi and working a 9-5 before heading back to the blog. But happily for you, he loves when I write and is my biggest encourager. So here I am writing how I feel about being married for a month.
One Month In
Have you ever stopped to think just how much can happen in one week, one month. . . one year?
Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real. I’m a wife. I have a husband. Just how?
By this time last year, I was as single as a slice of bread, still living in my parent's house, copywriting full-time and keeping fairly busy. Now just a year later, I have been married for one month, marveling at all the many (and wonderful) changes that took place in just one year. A courtship, an engagement, a wedding, and now. . . I’m a happy wife. Wow.
I feel different. Forget it, marriage is a life-changing experience. Is it the sex? Is it the cooking? Is it the inside-jokes? So much to tell you!
Sex And Romance Has Been Lit!
Kachi and I never had sex before marriage. And we agree it was one of
the hardest and best things we've both ever done. (Whether you've
already crossed this threshold or not, it's never too late to make a new
start.) We can honestly say this decision gives our marriage more life
and passion than we ever imagined. Waiting means way more excitement,
more value placed on the act, and a greater closeness with God than I
thought was possible. He makes me wet like crazy. We even have nicknames for our genitals. Yeah, it's
that awesome.
Cooking Is A Delight.
This
might be hard for my mum to believe because I never enjoyed spending
time in that part of the house called: The Kitchen. But look at
me now, excitedly planning the next meal. I am so happy about having to
cook for him. I love to watch him eat my food and I enjoy making him
happy with varieties. A month in, I have ensured he takes some
home-cooked meal to the office every day. I think I'm doing a pretty
good job as a wife. So far. You can ask him!
Dividing Responsibility Is Amazing.
It
is SO nice to know that I don’t have to do everything on my own. There
are certain tasks or chores that I find burdensome, but my husband is
happy to handle, and vice versa. We’re still learning our roles and
establishing a system that works for us, but so far it’s been great not
having to do everything by myself! Can't forget how his face beams when he does a particular thing for me. Gosh.
The Hug After Is Just It.
I
don't know who taught us this but this has been working. Someone gets
upset, we talk about it, an apology here and an acknowledgement
there, then there is the hug effect. It's our way of saying "hold on! I
care more about you than I do about the point I am trying to make. You
are important to me than this argument." Oh, I love our love and the
friendship we share.
People Keep Being People
There's
no pressure that comes with the act of getting married; it's the
pressure people put on you once you are that's stressful. Do you know
how many people have asked me when I hope to get pregnant?, if we're
trying (seriously), if we plan to have children (still serious)?, if I'm
pregnant? Please allow those in love be in love. What is it?!
I have to say this, one month in. . . I never dreamt marriage could be this much fun! We’ve been adjusting incredibly well. So far – no major surprises. . . except that Kachi burnt the first set of eggs he wanted to fry for us to eat together. The eggs turned black! But guess what? We ate them just that way. While he was good and fine, I ended up visiting the toilet over and over again. We still laugh about it.
One month in. . .What has changed? Everything. And it’s the FEELING of being married that has been a complete game changer. I am yet to get used to being addressed as Mrs. Onyekachi. Fortunately, it's a nice surname (meaning 'Who is greater than God?'). I like it.
Kachi and I leave for the office in the morning, get back in the evening, and we retire to bed to watch a movie and "gossip" before we fall asleep. The routines are the same, each day progresses as it always has, but there is something so surreal about going to bed and waking up every day next to the man of my dreams, who I can now call my husband.
We are still adjusting to saying “husband” and “wife”, and Kachi is CONSTANTLY obsessing over his new wife and fidgeting with the reality of me (which is the definition of adorable). In the middle of a discussion, he'll smile (or sometimes hit my buttocks) and call me "Omalicha Kachi" (which means the 'Kachi's Beauty'). When I am dressing up, he'll give the 'hmm' sound and call me "Omalicha Kachi" or coyly say "my wife, my wife". Then I'd chuckle. Don't ask me what happens afterwards. *winks*
 |
| December 15, 2018 |
The two of us are having so much fun. We laugh more than ever before. We
love exploring our new experience together, eating breakfast,
(sometimes) lunch, and dinner together. We eat too many eggs. We eat plantain a lot. We drink too much water. We take so many pictures. We share everything except toothbrushes. We make a mess
at dinner time and clean up together. We stay up way too late — watching
movies, talking, and laughing about the goofiest things. We love those
special times of sharing our highs/lows and praying together before
bed. Our goodbyes are long, and our hellos are even longer. It’s a joy
to be able to say goodnight at the end of the day instead of goodbye.
Weekly fasting are still a priority, and we look forward to them. On
weekends, we love going out for a great time and having a long nap.
Ah. Yes, we did it! We’ve made it to the first of a million milestones in our marriage. Though anniversaries are now reserved for annual celebrations, we are kicking it back from school days and celebrating the monumental success that we’ve had in one month of marital bliss.
I cannot say thank you enough to everyone who helped make our wedding possible! I was overwhelmed with gratitude as we stood before our family members and friends who love and support us.
The reality is that I have a husband. This isn't a 50/50 relationship. We are each called to give our marriage 110 percent every day. We're called to love each other, serve each other, and sacrifice for each other. That is no small task. God has helped us thus far, he'd help us for years to come.
With humility, selflessness, and constant sacrifice for each other, our marriage would work. Any marriage will.
Related Posts:
- What It Feels Like To Be Engaged
- What Marriage Truly Means
- How To Be Happy Being Single
- How To Be A Wife Before Marriage
- Is Phone Sex A Sin?
Happiness-wise, sex-wise, life-wise. In my personal experience, it seems to be longer than a month.
“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”
- Psalm 90:12
One month down, forever to go.
I love you so much, baby.
My prayer partner, my lover, my best friend. There's no one else I'd rather do
this life with. . .
* * * * *
I am planning on posting all about my wedding and journey in marriage as there is SO MUCH still to talk about, but I wanted to write a post on my thoughts as a newlywed one month in — it might be fun to look back on this post a year from now and see how much my thoughts have changed (or maybe they haven’t?)Related Post: Life After Honeymoon
Our honeymoon was everything and more that we had hoped for. We had a nice mix of adventure, relaxation and romance and I don’t think anyone should or would ever regret having a vacation like that. Anticipate NEXT POST: How To Plan The Perfect Honeymoon :)
Cheers!
Stay positive.
Stay inspired.
Stay in-love.
Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi
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Heart Rays . . . giving light.
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