DIARY: The Way He Looks At Me

From birth to death and all occasions in between, the eyes will always have it. Eye contact is the strongest form of nonverbal communication, and if your partner constantly does it with you! Oh, my!

Keep Looking, Baby

I've had my share of failed relationships and I believe I'm in a better place now. A place where I can recognize genuine love and intention when I see it. It's in the eyes.

Generally speaking, we are all naturally attracted to faces, especially eyes. The human face is associated with our identity; we are recognized more through our eyes than through any other facial feature. That's why your passport photograph in an identity card is enough proof for the person(s) concerned.

When you meet someone for the first time and you fall in love with them or like them instantly, what do you attribute that likeness to? It's the face! You are actually attracted by the person's face, especially the eyes. The eye is where the attraction begins.

You can't seem to take your eyes off the one you love.

When a relationship is new, lovers can spend hours gazing into each other’s eyes over lunch or while sitting close, enjoying all the nuances of thought, feeling, and passion that can be communicated through facial expression.

Then at some point, they stop making eye contact. The romantic relationship matures, distractions come in — work, children, financial issues — spending so much time at work, children paying more attention to their devices, meeting the demands of responsibilities placed by the family, church and other organisations.

Right?!

Seriously asking, who told them to stop looking at each other like that?

Kachi's eyes on my face at the PFYFH conference organized by Hephzibah Frances

Kachi's eyes on me during our pre-wedding photoshoot 

An older married woman, who thought she was giving godly counsel, told us to enjoy this first year of marriage because very soon the honeymoon will end. God forbid in the name of Jesus!

As for me and my husband, we have declared (and it shall be established) that our honeymoon will not end. Our love will not fade away. Our romantic expressions and experiences will last us a lifetime and more.

Picture an elderly couple walking down the street holding hands, looking at each other's face just as in love as they probably did 50 years ago. Yeah. Beautiful picture. That's Kachi and I right there.

Kachi turning his face to me while we were supposedly dancing at our traditional marriage ceremony

Kachi's eyes on me at the church wedding while I was signing our marriage register

One of the best ways to stay emotionally connected is physical connection, and what better way than to stare lovingly at your partner's face every time? After all, it is the point where two hearts are closest.

How much we look into someone's eyes not only helps establish intimacy, but also reveals how much intimacy that might be already existing. We say a lot with our eyes.

When you and your partner share a loving look, you are not only matching with your feelings — you are matching with your beings.

Kachi's eyes on me at the launch of my (first) book 'He Wasn't My Husband'

Focusing on what your eyes and your partner’s eyes say through looks of appreciation, fascination, and security can speak volumes of your love and keep it fresh.

How your partner stares at you (both in-doors and out) is a true indicator of why you are so very special to him/her. Your partner can validate you, warm your heart, and reveal a great sense of gratitude and contentment that you’re a part of his/her life. Your partner can also make you feel that everything and everyone else is invisible except for you—sitting right next to him/her.

courtship days

Now, the deal is to find out: How do we remain that in-love? How can my attraction and desire for my spouse grow instead of fade over time?

I believe it is possible. Solomon was able to do just that. In Song of Solomon, Solomon says his love for his bride has not diminished since their wedding night, even though other women are available to him. The depth of love they experienced started with a daily decision to choose each other above all others.

With the eyes as the "window to the soul", when the Beloved looks into the eyes of the one He loves, He sees His Spirit gazing back at Him. She "ravishes His heart with just one glance of her eye" (Songs 4:9). 

The eyes have it.

Gosh, I wholeheartedly love the way my husband looks at me each and every day. I hear his eyes talking to me when I look at them. It's wonderful. To find different cameras/photographers capture some of these priceless spontaneous moments is simply amazing. I'm thankful.

Truth be told, he was looking at me as a friend until (one day) he realized he was looking at his wife. And since then, he has not stopped looking at me. 

Keep looking, baby!
Aww!

". . .then was I in his eyes as one that found favour."

 — Song of Solomon 8:10b, KJV

P.s Judging by the pictures above, he does more of the looking. Can this justify the notion that men are moved by what they see? Lol.

P.s.s Read my book 'He Wasn't My Husband' yet? I said "this man is constantly obsessing over his new wife and fidgeting over the reality of me" in Chapter one (page 55). True story of my life!

How do you and your partner remain that in-love?

Written by Nwamaka Onyekachi 

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Heart Rays . . . giving light.