Two Babies Under Two Years?! How?

Having babies close in age is not for the faint of heart. Phew. There is double diaper changes, double crying, double rocking to sleep and double everything. My two children are barely 15 months apart. This has been the most terrifying and interesting time of my life. 

I share how I’m dealing with all the emotions and tantrums in the video below:

DIARY: November To Remember (2022)

It’s the first of December. Yay! I want to be really excited but the devil is trying so hard to shake me up. He seems to be winning but you know what? He lost a long time ago. 

I am taking back my joy, my praise, my moments, my peace and everything else that has my name on it. Amen! 

November 2022

Every year I keep track of my November. I do this by capturing one or two moments of each day with a sentence or two. So I did it again this year. 

Tuesday 1: Celebrating Kachi’s cousin on WhatsApp. I’ve been saving this picture for a day like this. Hahaha. . .

3 Lessons I Learnt From Losing A Contract Job

For the risk of over-sharing (and, perhaps, I would) I decided to make this a CAREER post and not a ‘Dear Diary’ entry. 

When you lose a contract, a job or a business deal, the last thing you typically feel is positive.

Losing A Contract Job

I am not ready to job-hunt but I am ever-ready and willing to put my skills to work and make some cool money. Having spent almost half a decade as a creative freelancer, I pride myself on being good at what I do. I'm thoughtful about managing communication and relationships, clear about my rates and scope of work, and good at under-promising and over-delivering on results. 

Generally speaking, my clients are always happy. While some show their gratitude with words, others do by referrals. 

Wait, I’m losing focus. This article is not about how good I am but how TERRIBLE I am at NEGOTIATION.

I like being liked, and I tend to feel uncomfortable getting into a squabble with someone over money. So it caught me off guard when this contract went south.

As awkward as it was, I learned quite a few lessons that I hope can help you too. They are:

Dear Diary, I Really Wanted A Boy

I’m a planner. I like to know my baby’s gender as soon as I am considered pregnant! But this time, Kachi and I involuntarily embraced the idea of being surprised until our second baby was born.

International Day Of The Girl Child 2022

“I want a boy.” I repeated as many times as possible. I told the people who were qualified to be told. It was what I wanted.

Some of the people I told smiled and wished same along with me while some looked at me with judging eyes. "You should just wish for a healthy pregnancy and baby. That's what's most important."

Oh well, I couldn’t help wanting what I wanted.

I wanted a boy and wasn't ashamed of that. I knew that I'd be a great mother to either boys or girls, so why should I have felt bad for having a preference? Was I any less grateful for getting the opportunity to parent another child? Was I being a selfish brat and only thinking about my wants, instead of thanking the heavens that I was able to conceive again?

Of course not.

You Can’t Quit Motherhood Like You Quit A Job

Some days, I wish motherhood was a job I could quit. (Let me mention that I am one who quit a job by just knowing and one who can also quit without having a back up plan). Yeah, there are days when I just want to be done.

Being a mother is way more time consuming (but way more rewarding than I ever expected) and so many feelings and emotions are involved.

When Motherhood Gets Overwhelming

When I first became a mother, there were so many days where everything felt hard. It felt overwhelming, which isn’t something I was anticipating with such frequency. It is getting easier as each day passes, but there are still days where I wish I could just quit motherhood. Even if it’s for a week.

I remember when I was just a two-month-old mother and the baby would cry, looking over at my mother-in-love and wondering why on earth she didn’t pick her up?

I couldn’t accept the daunting reality that her crying would be my forever responsibility. That was perhaps the very first overwhelming moment for me as a mother.

There I laid, nursing my sweet baby, weeping. I wept for the unknown, I wept for what I did know so personally and so painfully. I am a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend and most prominently, I am a mother.

I cried.

And I’ve cried some more. 

Why Do Toddlers Hit Their Mothers?

Hahaha! I was literally laughing at myself when I realized I had just typed on Google the most ridiculous question ever. Let me ask you; what’s the most ridiculous question you’ve ever asked Google? 

Every day my little one amazes me with something new. 

This morning, I typed on Google; 

Why is my one year old hitting me?!

Lol.

And I was surprised to know that many other mothers all over the world have done the same in their lifetime. So, it’s actually a thing for toddlers to hit their mothers. Hahaha!

I studied that toddlers are more active, curious and expressive. And right now, my daughter is able to stand on her own, walking while holding onto a furniture and getting ready to take her first few independent steps. It’s exciting watching her growth and development!

In case you are also wondering why a toddler could possibly be hitting his/her mother, this is what I found out on parents.com:

Dear Diary, No One Understands What I’m Feeling (Including Myself!)

This morning after prayers, I received an update on a certain recent happening that got me getting into my feelings. 

“She is coming tomorrow.”

What I’m Feeling Now

It’s hard to explain. There are probably things in life that are not meant to be described but meant to be felt. And sometimes, you can’t even understand why you are feeling the way you do. Like, you don’t understand your experience in that moment somewhat. 

I just finished crying myself out. Nobody beat me. Lol. But I’m in a challenging season.

I closed my eyes to talk with Him and the tears just flowed and flowed. I believe He understands me. He sees all my struggles, and He knows what’s going on in my mind.

How To Rekindle Romance After Having A Baby

On Heart Rays, we don’t do boring relationships. Having a fun-filled and enjoyable marriage is a MAJOR goal. If you are not intentional, you may get swept up in the intensity and demands of new parenthood that you forget about being a couple. Rekindling romance after having a baby is not a popular topic but it is very common. 

Let’s talk. 

Romance After Baby

In the beginning, it was just me and Kachi. We do anything we want and go anywhere we want. We were spontaneous and adventurous. (See our honeymoon adventures here). I could step out for 24 hours without holding a bag. Kachi and I could stay up all night talking, watching movies and building on our intimacy. 

We had some pillars of a great relationship: good communication, trust, physical affection, a good sex life, emotional support, shared interests, mutual respect in the relationship, and time spent together having fun.

Then a baby happened! (Meet our beautiful baby here 😊 ) 

As we started to find our parenting groove, we realized that our intimacy was starting to shake a bit. Thank God for the Spirit of discernment! 

Below are some tips on how to bring the passion back post-baby, straight from the heart: 

Introducing My First Baby On The Blog

I meant to post this a while back and I guess I never did! I’ve posted just about everywhere but on my blog! Chikamma Esther Onyekachi was born two days to my 31st birthday. What a gift! 

You may have noticed that I have taken a little break from social media in the last few weeks. I think you’ll agree, though it’s pretty understandable, when you look at my precious baby girl. Who would want to pass up cuddles with her in favour of a laptop?!? Not me, that’s for sure!!

I want to show her off to you all, you have been on my pregnancy journey with me and I want to show you the most beautiful result of that pregnancy, a seriously cute baby girl who has come to add colour and light to our family, Heart Rays readers – I would like to introduce Kamma!

 

Nigerian Woman Births Quadruplets After Many Years Of Waiting

Like they shout in my local church, Praissssssssssssssse Theeeeeee Loooooooooord! Halleeeeeeluuuuujah! The Lord is goooooooood! All the timmmmmmme! 

Story of Hope

I have a very tiny experience on waiting upon God for a baby. It is not an easy journey. When we were trying to conceive my first baby, I thought I would get pregnant right away, but it actually ended up taking a lot longer than I expected. 

When I finally got pregnant, the joy couldn’t be contained!

 

Children are a gift from God. Whether they come in singles, twins, triplets or quadruplets, they are priceless.

It was an overwhelming joyous day as the family of Mr. & Mrs. Innocent Ezennia brought their quadruplets, two boys and two girls, to church for dedication.

Personal Development Tips For Every Year And Everyone

Why do you want to improve yourself? Perhaps you want to learn new things, replace bad habits, become more productive, find emotional balance, or improve your relationships? Whatever it is, be sure to find these tips very helpful. 

30 Personal Development Tips For 2022

#1

Make friends with successful people and occasionally buy them gift and surprise them with lunch because successful people always give and hardly get, so when you give them, they value the gift a lot.

#2

Get a mentor and follow his instructions and respect the relationship. Never beg your mentor for money or disrespect his or her privacy.

#3

Make new positive friends as often as possible and ensure you keep the communication line open. Create a network of friends and not just connections.

6 Unusual Life Lessons From Last Year

Happy happy New Year, sweethearts of my blogosphere! Woohooo! 2021 was a uniquely transformative year for my life. And as you already know how I do, I track the changes. 

Life Lessons From 2021

At the end of every year, I sit down and reflect on what I learned. There is no specific aim or purpose to the exercise—the goal is to put on wings, fly up to 10,000 feet, and assess myself and the year that has passed.

2021 was a uniquely transformative year in my life. The year I evolved into a MOTHER. What! It was a year! I was in a haze for the most part of the year but I will do my best to bring my lessons into light for you.